finally on october 9th, 2013 i said it to myself: "don't say anything, ever." i kept repeating that phrase as i drove home. that was all i thought about for hours. that was how i truly felt. the emotions i had were real. my performance almost came to an end. i almost broke down and let go of my character. my strength was tested. my feelings were hurt. then i thought, "how did i get to this point?"