The meaning of life is that it ends. These stories chronicle that journey, the tears, the laughter, the innards. High school hijinks gone awry; the end result of fast food franchises and forgotten river gods colliding; revenge on killer clowns from beyond; zombie death metal auditions; the exquisite dining habits of trolls; cannibal fishermen; hitmen from Hell; Satan's favorite advice columnist; the carnival version of American Idol; f*%#ing dragons. All this, and bunnies too. All witnessed firsthand, more or less. These words have been reserved for you. The worms can wait. They know how it ends.