At forty-one, Scarlett Thomas was a successful novelist and academic. She'd quit smoking, gotten healthier, settled down with a partner. Then her beloved dog died. One of her three fathers died of a heroin overdose and the other two were diagnosed with cancer. For the first time, maintaining her weight had become impossible. She was supposed to grow up, but she didn't know how. So instead, she decided to regress: to go back to the thing she'd loved best as a child but had inexplicably abandoned: tennis. A heartbreaking and darkly funny memoir about finding yourself through sport.