One night waking up from a dream, wet with perspiration and head pounding came the realization that something was battling my heart and soul. Finding a lump in my neck led to a biopsy. The day after surgery my son gently wiped a tear from my eye. He said with fear, "There is blood in your tears " Unexpectedly, a drug reaction sent me back to the hospital. Waiting in the hospital bed for the doctor to arrive with the biopsy results, anticipating the discharge. I was ready to go home. The doctor walked in and looked to my daughter and said "You don't know how hard my walk from my office was." The words we never wanted to hear. "You have cancer." I felt a tear fall on my arm, it was my husband's. I said 'Why?" I had to think, I had to plan but I could only think of one thing. I have cancer. I could die.