By Knowledge Unsullied The way you gut a catfish, trim a sail, Or how a host concocts the perfect martini, What the blazes is a farthingale, The names of all the operas by Puccini, All this escapes me along with winning at poker, Tiling a bathroom, cheating bees of their honey, Dancing beyond a score of mediocre, Talking sports, or making a pile of money. Equating learning with earning, most are aghast. You worthless dimwit, they say, you must feel dejected. Au contraire My cluelessness unsurpassed, Such matchless ignorance has got to be respected. A gorge gigantic, gaping, without flaw: Not even the Grand Canyon commands such awe."