Are you in a band? Have you ever stood on a stage in a village hall and shouted "Hello Tokyo" to an empty room? Do you know someone who once almost had a support slot with the Kaiser Chiefs before they were famous? Are you convinced that your guitar make you more attractive? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then this book is for you. It is a story of self-delusion, bad hair and loud guitars, for anyone who thought that the rock-star life was for them only to be proved tragically wrong by circumstance or lack of ability.