Stop working on yourself as an individual and start working on your relationship as a couple, with the help of the renowned family therapist and bestselling author of The New Rules of Marriage "A beautiful and important book, particularly for the moment we are in."--BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, from the foreword At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons our most intimate relationships in his therapy practice where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. Recent neurobiology shows that the mind exists in a social context, and couples co-regulate one another's nervous systems. But it's hard to get that delicate dance right if you, like so many people, grew up without adequate emotional support. The techniques you developed to survive a dysfunctional family as a kid--the very skills that probably bring you success in your career--will torch your personal relationships. Us is a groundbreaking guide to a new science-backed skillset--one that will allow you to get past your kneejerk reactions and tap into your wiser, more collaborative self. With a novelist's flair, Real shares the stories of real couples whose relationships have been saved by these skills and pans out to the cultural landscape that reinforce our dysfunction. If you and your partner are backed into separate corners of "you" and "me," this book will show the way back to "us." With Us, your real relationship can begin.