Now, completely revised and edited. Amanda Connors, age 35, never dreamed her fairytale marriage to Billy would end in divorce. She never imagined that she'd catch him in bed with a close friend on the day her mother died. She never fancied that she would trade her ambitions for his. She's devastated, rattled and unsure about life. This havoc has lasted for a year. Amanda, still reeling, blames herself for the current failed situations. She wants to let it go, but it haunts her nightly dreams-dreams where the situation with Billy ends differently. If she doesn't snap out of it, Amanda fears that like her mother she'll grieve herself to death. Desperate for change, she takes a spiritual retreat. She needs to figure out what she wants for the next phase of life-life that doesn't include Billy. Amanda travels into the Jemez Mountains to begin a spirit quest. While there, she meets a wolf, a bear, a hawk, and a swarm of bees. These personal totems lead Amanda to much-needed answers and a desire to live again. This heartwarming, magical realism adventure could be anyone of us facing personal tragedy-whether the crisis is death, divorce, or loss. Follow Amanda's steps to recovery as they lead to healing. Perhaps the journey will also guide you