Nobody expects to get turned into a vampire, especially a guy like Bob. Everybody hopes that if they somehow get transformed into a vampire, they will instantly become some kind of superhero vampire out of the movies. Bad news guys: not gonna happen. More likely than not, you're gonna be one of the poor clueless bastards hanging out on Thursday nights with Bob in his vampire support group. You may think you know what being a vampire is supposed to be like, but Bob is here to set you straight. He's made it his personal mission to get answers about the reality of being a vampire. He's been shot, stabbed, thrown off rooftops, survived bad coffee and endured crippling boredom - all in the name of answering the eternal question of what it means to be a vampire. If you think you might be a vampire, this is the book for you.