What novel presents a realistic, comprehensive, laugh-until-you-almost-pee look at an urban elementary school in a middle-class neighborhood in New York City through the eyes of a retiring principal? The answer is Reading, Writing, and Murder. Here are some of the subjects in the school curriculum: How to Murder a Teacher in School How to Conduct an Adulterous Affair How to Deal with Disruptive Pupils How to Deal with Complaining Parents and Teachers How to Dissuade a Pupil Threatening to Commit Suicide How to Save a Parent Having a Heart Attack How to be Classified as a Pedophile How to Celebrate a Principal's Retirement How to Reminisce on the Good, the Bad, the Ugly How to Solve a School Murder Only someone with thirty-five-and-a-half years as teacher, assistant principal, and principal in New York City elementary schools could tell it like it is.