"Grand Floridians" is a story with a collection of quirky characters whose seemingly unrelated lives become entangled in the seamy underbelly of murder, lust, and greed in Florida's tropical retirement paradise. Overweight and sheltered, Verbena and her fortune-seeking husband, Eldridge, are poised to forfeit their beach bungalow after Verbena's father loses the family fortune. While Verbena refuses to face her financial predicament, her neighbor Tom, the struggling gay novelist, is the only one sympathetic to her plight.
Helen and Nero are aging con artists in search of one last score before they retire to the islands. Helen contracts as a courier for a psychotic colonel and his gun-running scheme. As she awaits his call, she can't resist seducing Leon, an Iowan downsized from his office supply job. In the process she manages to separate him from his retirement account thus enhancing her own fortune for the future
At the same time that Helen is working her magic on Leon, Nero hires ex-con Bennett Durant for a simple computer job that will set up his final con. But when the gun deal goes wrong someone must pay the colonel his due. Who will it be? Verbena, Tom, Bennett and a poodle named Pookie find themselves thrown together in Verbena's Buick Electra, running for their lives Who will save them?