In Garfield’s Guide to Everything, the philosophizing fat cat weighs in on a whole kit and caboodle of subjects, from ecology to astrology, Shakespeare to stupidity.

Sleep — “The best 18 hours of my day”
Coffee — “Mother Nature’s Jumper Cables”
Dogs — “They contain 90% of the world’s drool supply.”
Love — “”…is splitting the last piece of pizza.”
Exercise — “My favorite spectator sport.”
Mondays — “The armpit of days.”
Golf — “That’s Scottish for ‘AAARGH!’.”