"Shortlisted for the 2025 BREAD & ROSES AWARD*

Can the state deliver justice when the state itself is the perpetrator?

'A fierce, uncompromising testament to love and resistance.' Jacqueline Crooks

Christopher Alder had been left to die on the floor of Queen's Gardens police station in Hull in 1998, having been dragged unconscious and bleeding from a police van by Humberside police officers. His case would become one of the most notorious 'deaths in custody' in the UK, involving the destruction of evidence and illegal surveillance.

Christopher's death changed the life of his sister Janet forever, as she embarked on what would become a decades-long struggle to uncover the truth and demand justice. Her campaign led to some astonishing revelations and a string of landmark rulings. Yet it also led to a covert counter-campaign against Janet personally. This culminated in allegations, from within the police force itself, that Christopher's body was secretly being used in police training exercises, for years after his death, by the very force that killed him.

In this extraordinary memoir, Janet reveals, through the story of her, Christopher, their parents and their childhood, the racism and impunity that permeates our state institutions. It is one woman's attempt to bring the accountability which the state has denied, simply by telling the truth.

'The word "defiance" encapsulates the spirit, courage and determination of Janet Alder . . . She refused to be broken, refused to be silenced and in this book, she exposes the structural racism that still lies at the core of the Britain's institutions.' Brian Richardson, Barrister

'Impossible to put down . . . An extraordinary account and a total indictment of the policing and criminal injustice system in this country. It should be compulsory reading.' Professor Gus John