THE RED SUIT COMES LATER. FIRST, HE MUST SURVIVE. Look, we all know how this story ends. Red suit, reindeer, milk and cookies. But nobody told you how it actually started, and spoiler alert: it's way more intense than your childhood Christmas specials led you to believe. So there's Nicholas Santa (yeah, that's his real name). He disappears with his family during an expedition to the North Pole. Because nothing says quality family time like hiking to the most inhospitable place on Earth in the 19th century. When a storm hits, Nicholas gets separated from his wife Jessica and son Jon, plus everything he understood about reality. Beneath the ice lives an ancient race of elves who've been playing hide-and-seek since the Ice Age. Short, stout, and equipped with technology that makes modern smartphones look like stone tablets, they've maintained a peaceful existence until now. Enter Jack. The one guy who ruins it for everyone. He's the elf who complains about everything and has strong opinions about the way things used to be. He's rallying the discontented with plans to abandon the North Pole and redecorate the rest of the world. Fueled by rage and mommy issues, Jack's leading a supernatural revolt. Standing between Jack and global conquest is Nicholas, the first human to stumble into their secret society, wondering how his simple polar expedition turned into a fantasy novel. Claus: Legend of the Fat Man explains how milk-and-cookies Santa evolved from the guy who survived an elven civil war. It's the origin story nobody asked for but everyone secretly wants, proving that even beloved holiday icons started somewhere. And that somewhere was apparently much more complicated than anyone wanted to admit. Perfect for fans of Christopher Moore's The Stupidest Angel, Matt Haig's The Midnight Library (and his Father Christmas series), Neil Gaiman's Norse Mythology, and Terry Pratchett's Hogfather.