Most restaurant customers are nice people, but a few are socially maladjusted psychopaths who relish giving their waiters a hard time. WAITER RANT gives the inside scoop on what really goes on behind the scenes in a restaurant, how to be a good customer and get great service and why, strangely, a waiter's lifestyle is as addictive as crack cocaine.

After training as a priest, working in psychiatric hospitals and nearly having a nervous breakdown by the age of thirty, the Waiter began serving tables. Seven years later . . . he's still figuring out what to do when he grows up, but has survived enough hellish shifts on the restaurant floor, smiling whilst holding burning hot plates and still smiling whilst a customer changes her order for the seventh time, to know a thing or two.

His outrageous anecdotes of appalling customer behaviour show that people are at their worst when being served. Bad customers get bad service. So if you don't want your waiter to spit in your food, or give you the table next to the toilets on Valentine's Day, the Waiter suggests you follow a few customer rules.