On or about the 6th of April 2010, the Icelandic volcano known as Eyjafjallajkull began quietly churning and four days later, in an act of super-human magnanimity, Europe's governments opted en masse to close their air space indefinitely, marking the most-massive interruption to routine transportation in sixty five years and more poignantly, approximating the first time its many leaders had acted in unison against a common enemy, no less so quickly. Roughly 100,000 travelers were stranded, including you guessed it, us. Never has a plume of volcanic ash so punched above its weight, but when scientific expert after instant expert was paraded before TV 24 News, the universal response was "we just don't know." This is the story of near-freaking in the face of adversity and throwing caution to the wind, and getting back home by train, plane and virtually every other mode of transportation except pantomime circus elephant, while fighting against the Big Machine at every opportunity, mixed metaphors and all.