This is an autobiographical account of my two years in England. It starts with how and why I decided to move there, and ends with my decision to move back to the US. In between are some of my adventures of moving to a foreign country, living and working in England, playing go, traveling, working, getting frustrated, making a few friends, having sex a few times, and retiring early. There are 24 chapters: Chapter 1: Jobless and clueless, I think about my future. Chapter 2: I revisit England and lose my cat. Chapter 3: A little bit of a digression while I comment on one of my favorite topics, my penis... Chapter 4: I try to simplify my life by getting rid of possessions, but it doesn't help. Chapter 5: I have a bad experience involving a machine. Chapter 6: I speculate that home is where I hang My Stuff. Chapter 7: I experience the English way of doing things. Chapter 8: I go on and on about go. Chapter 9: I take a holiday at a seaside resort, but don't go swimming. Chapter 10: I experience the pros and cons of socialized medicine. Chapter 11: I find a girlfriend and lose her again. Chapter 12: I befriend some fellow outsiders. Chapter 13: I spend a turkeyless Thanksgiving in Spain. Chapter 14: I meet the ghost of Christmas present. Chapter 15: The English drive me crazy. Chapter 16: I don't whistle while I work. Chapter 17: I discover limits to my upward mobility. Chapter 18: I revisit Amsterdam and try to change the past. Chapter 19: I get no joy from working. Chapter 20: I mingle with fellow Americans and a few French. Chapter 21: I appear on TV (sort of). Chapter 22: I call it quits and other bad names. Chapter 23: I say goodbye to England, but get no response. Chapter 24 - Epilogue: I admit that I occasionally make mistakes.