You may have read the previous books in this series, named A Parrot in My Soup and Who the Heck is Auntie Florette? Basically they are an assembledge of random passages written as an observation of things around me over a one year period, while I sit in our house in France complaining about stuff. Can I use the word assembledge? I know I made it up, but then so what? All words are made up, by someone, aren't they? And at least I didn't come up with 'paradigm' or 'disintermediate' which were obviously concocted by Management Consultants with too much time on their hands. I do quite like the word 'testiculate' though - which means waving your arms while talking bollocks It's what management consultants do, mostly. Anyway, welcome to the latest installment of my assembledge of rantings - from now on I will try and use words that are in the Oxford dictionary. Some of it might offend - some may make you cringe - most of it will make you laugh