TABLE OF CONTENTS Foreword by Senator Lorenzo M. Tanada - p7 CHAPTER 1. Make My Day is a morality play - p8 CHAPTER 2. The TECHNOQUACK Series - p10 CHAPTER 3. Elena Lim of Sony - p11 Part 1. Robin Padilla's marbles can be crushed by Bea Lucero - p11 Part 2. Elena Lim and the mother of all scams - p13 Part 3. Town Crier Elena and what Tommy's got - p15 Part 4. Elena Lim of Sony, Tiger Prawns and Kia - p17 CHAPTER 4. George Canseco, composer - p21 Part 1. The music makers, the dreamers of dreams - p21 Part 2. George Canseco's sheer poetry - p22 Part 3. Kapantay ay langit, as infinite, as timeless as the stars - p23 Part 4. Ngayon at K was a greater hit than Kapantay ay Langit - p24 Part 5. Please deny it or I'll die of a broken heart - p25 Part 6. You are God's gift in answer to all my prayers - p26 Part 7. Lost youth, forgotten dreams, things that might have been - p27 CHAPTER 5. Alejandro Roces - p28 Part 1. Jesuits thought Anding too dumb to learn Latin - p28 Part 2. Cock of St. Peter, a story by a peeping Tom - p29 Part 3. Anding Roces' Cock Tales - p30 Part 4 Upon Peter's rocks will he build his search - p31 Part 5. "Hoy Anding, ikaw ang nag patay kay Rizal" - p32 Part 6. Anding recovered the stolen Noli, Fili and Ultimo Adios - p33 Part 7. Drop Dead, Anding - p34 Part 8. Boxing champ Anding was beaten twice by the same girl - p35 Part 9. If your shit sinks, you're sunk - p36 CHAPTER 6. Ambassador J. V. Cruz - p37 Part 1. A Letter From J. V. Cruz - p37 Part 2. A part of my life died with JV Cruz - p40 Part 3. JV Cruz and I discovered Romulo's plagiarism - p42 Part 4. JV Cruz, bon vivant, messenger to God - p43 CHAPTER 7. Spanish Ambassador Herminio Morales - p44 Part 1. Is the Ambassador a nut or a klepto - p44 Part 2. The cad and bounder who ruins a girl's life and career - p45 Part 3. El Embajador tiene que estar mal de coco - p47 Part 4. As a party guest, he wanted to rearrange the furniture - p48 CHAPTER 8. Vestal Julie Yap Daza throws flowers to the moon - p49 CHAPTER 9. Ochsner, Smouse and Smulczenski are poltroons - p50 CHAPTER 10. Jess' heart in the navel of a fly - p53 CHAPTER 11. Roy Prosterman, CIA Agent - p56 Part 1. Prosterman was threatened with orchiectomy - p56 Part 2. The New Poor are the most dangerous of revolutionaries - p58 CHAPTER 12. Bantay ng Bayot and our future president - p60 CHAPTER 13. The Lipa Story - p62 Part 1. Congregation of saints at Mercy's house - p62 Part 2. Bible miracles laos na, we need miracles of our very own - p63 CHAPTER 14. Pirates And Taxes Bury A Dying Industry - p64 CHAPTER 15. The genius of the Filipino race - p66 Part 1. Asians are brighter than the white race - p66 Part 2. How does one recognize a gifted child? - p67 Part 3. Parental nurturing of the gifted baby - p67 Part 4. History and evolution of race determines its collective IQ - p69 Part 5. Surpassing the bounds of possible achievement - p69 Part 6. Homo Saps are drips of the first water - p70 Part 7. Miguel Carandang, musical genius, Renaissance boy - p71 Part 8. There are more important forms of genius other than IQ - p73 CHAPTER 16. A 10-year-old can operate a computer better than Gus - p74 CHAPTER 17. The demise of the high and the mighty - p77 Part 1. Sad stories of the death and fall of kings - p77 Part 2. The death of Ninoy, the electoral defeat of Macapagal - p78 (more inside)