Tincan Sailor is the recollection of a clueless reservist who is suddenly activated and reports to a destroyer. He flunks the boarding protocol. But still tries. For two years. But a sailor he is not. And with no shipboard skills, he is exiled to the ship's store. Among his other frailties: seasickness and pursuit of the fabled girl in every port. Some other highlights include fleeing bombs in the Suez Canal and a scalped shipmate chasing him yelling "I'm going to kill you." He's not a barber either. Meanwhile, his girlfriend wasn't answering his mail. The ending is sad.