Joseph R. Biden Sr. never held political office, but that didn't stop him from imparting a lifetime's worth of guidance to his son and our 46th president.

Featuring such classic Bidenisms as "I may be Irish, but I'm not stupid," "Don't compare me to the Almighty, compare me to the alternative," and the ever-famous "That's a bunch of malarkey," THINGS JOE BIDEN'S FATHER TOLD HIM is a curious catechism of Biden family wisdom.