Curtain in two minutes... one minute! Curtain in one minute! Well, here goes. I have been waiting until the very last moment to put on these damn costume shoes. They are much too small and tight but they were the best we could get. As I bent down to begin the painful pulling and squeezing, I suddenly recalled another pair of ill-fitting shoes that I was compelled to wear a long, long time ago... Thus begins the military autobiography of Carl Milo Pergolizzi, of his days as a private or soldier drafted into the United States army. He recounts his many adventures and misadventures as a misfit, and does so with humour accompanied by occasional sarcasm. In the end, he is honourably discharged. His experience, like those of many million active duty soldiers, has remained with him, and is as vivid today as it was while faithfully serving Uncle Sam.