Some 4.5 billion years ago the universe decided to try out a little experiment on a rather average planet somewhere in the Milky Way. Remarkably, the result was life on planet Earth, an event that would eventually see a species of well behaved, clean shaven monkeys evolve and boldly declare themselves to be the planet's intellectual masters. But just how did it all happen? How did that first tiny spark of life eventually evolve to give us Albert Einstein and Mozart? Well, simply put, we don't have a clue. However, some rather clever science-bods think they might have some ideas, and so here is a version of events that these brainy types believe may well explain how some rather hairy and not too bright tree-dwelling apes eventually evolved to walk on the moon. This then is a slightly irreverent jaunt through the history of human evolution, it's the story of you and me.