*WINNER OF THE PEN ACKERLEY PRIZE 2018*My younger brother's name is Nicholas Beard. SHORTLISTED FOR THE RATHBONES FOLIO PRIZE 2018SHORTLISTED FOR THE JAMES TAIT BLACK PRIZE 2018`This captivating book, both heart-rending and jaw-dropping, unfolds like a detective story' Daily Mail`A memoir of real truth and heartbreaking emotional heft' Sunday Times