Many conflicts and relationship problems arise from the fact that we act to please or harm others, and we feel pleased or harmed by others' actions. If we act to inform or change others at a rational level, and assess rationally instead of emotionally the actions of others, then we can avoid much of our minor or serious relational problems and breakups. It's more natural to be upset by the fact that the other does not value me positively, as I feel that from his body language, than to be saddened that he did something wrong to me. For the latter I should have no feelings, but rather think and do something about it