Edgar Mallender is indisposed. Plagued by a painful condition, he spends his days soaking in the bathtub, surrounded by a library of books. But when a beautiful ballet dancer seeks his help, Edgar has to dry himself off and turn private detective. He is plunged into a dangerous world of ruthless businessmen and psychotic thugs, where only one thing can save him from being washed down the plughole: his knowledge of bathing... Who were the cleanest barbarians in history? How did the bathtub ruin American cinema? Why don't more people hate Sherlock Holmes? Part-mystery, part-history, The Cold Tap is a smart, offbeat tale for anyone who's ever taken a book into the bathroom.