There are five things you should know: 1. My name's Gavin Daniels and I probably won't like you. It isn't your fault, probably, I'm just not a people person. 2. The government is kinda fucked. Not your fault either. The president and like, nineteen other world leaders were assassinated not too long ago. 3. NEVER go onto the Ohio University campus alone. There are weird creatures there that will not hesitate to make you their next meal. 4. Do not judge me for doing the above. 5. And lastly, somebody find me the goddamn man in the robe who knocked me out and left me for dead with a freaking med student and fat chick on some desolate ship. 6. I tend to lie about some things, sorry. And I should tell you a bit about this book, shouldn't I? I've been kidnapped and you need to help me get out. I cannot do it without you at my side.