Singing apes, angry hippos, learned bishops, skull-diggers like Dr Richard Leakey and reedy rafters like Thor Heyerdahl all make noises... and it's been Keith Desmond's job to record them for posterity in a film career spanning nearly forty years.When celebrities and semi-naked ladies speak out, they all present Keith with the same task: Where do you put the microphone? Softly, softly, he goes about his work, at all hours, in all climates, with tact, tolerance and professionalism - plus a much needed sense of humour.Keith's recollections of a life well spent offer plenty of scope for serious thought. However, anyone who fails to laugh at the name Alan Root gave to his pet aardvark needs help - or a dose of aftershave where it hurts most - see Chapter 14!