A young man in provincial Old Bavaria torn between religious devotion and sexual discovery. When he receives his notice of military service, only one path appears possible. Is the monastery the right choice for Armin? Can celibacy keep his passion in check? When, during his theological studies, he lives next door to a popular brother, his conscience is put to an unexpected test. On a hot summer day, a series of dramatic events is set in motion that will change Armin's life in unforeseen ways. Who helps the young monk in the dark moments of his inner turmoil? Who can truely identify with him and show him a path forward? Can the Catholic Church prevent his downfall? Saintly life or a life in the gutter, order or orgasm, monastery or sexual ecstasy - Armin Heining's unsparing autobiography is a gripping account of his early life: The desperate struggle to live authentically between spirituality and sexuality, the hope of healing emotional pain and the enlightening and realization that even the most tortuous path follows a plan and leads to happiness.