Sh*tty Mum

Mary Ann Zoellner, Alicia Ybarbo, Karen Moline and Laurie Kilmartin are four women from all over the mumiverse: two long-time producers for hit US show, The Today Show (both married mums), one best-selling author and journalist (a single adoptive mum), and finally, a professional comedian and comedy writer who was a finalist on Last Comic Standing (and a single mum to her biological son - she thinks). Over 152,000 mums follow them on Twitter (@TodaysMoms) each day and Babble.com included them in 'The 50 Best Twitter Mums' for the last two years running.

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Children. They want everything and they want it now. They don't care about killing your sex life or the way they add six inches to the length of your breasts, and they sure as hell don't give a sh*t that you only slept four hours last night. Any person, physical need or dream that takes you away from them for even five seconds is their natural enemy and must be crushed with loud, endless cries.

This book is about how to survive babies, and what they grow into: children. It's about shortcuts and parenting with 40% effort. You'll learn how to ignore, avoid, threaten and lie in easy-to-skim-while-locked-in-the-bathroom mini-chapters, plus valuable 'How to Fake it' tips to help you through those days when there isn't enough sh*tty advice in the world.

We get you. We get your little dictators. And we can help.