How many times had I unknowingly passed someone who was in a place of grief or sadness? Had I seen the face of despair as I passed them, unable to read their hearts cry?
Understanding and making sense of why bad things have to happen do not always come on the heels of that experience. Sometimes we have to wait and allow God to reveal things in his timing.
Watch your strong opinions in a situation that you have little or no experience or understanding I like to say, "I have not noticed any of my shoes missing, so I'm quite certain you have no idea what I'm walking in."
Most importantly, go to the one who can ease your pain and who loves you deeply and give your life over to him now so that eternity looks more like living then dying.