In mid-1984, while hiking through the devastated wilderness surrounding Washington State's deadly natural wonder, Mount St. Helens, the author of this book quite literally stumbled upon a gift from the past, a time capsule from the legendary lost civilization of Ratlantis. The contents of this amazing little cylinder are destined to shake the very foundations of contemporary anthropology, history, and religion. And they will almost unquestionably consign such heretofore untouchables as Creationism and Darwin's Theory of Evolution to the ash heaps of religious and scientific literature. These incredible documents, The Ratlantis Papyri, were compiled by Professor Henry Ratwrinkle, a noted Ratlantian historian and philosopher. Professor Ratwrinkle was lamentably thrown out of the University of Ratlantis for daring to publish his supposedly crackpot theories and controversial views concerning the history of Ratlantis. He spent the rest of his life in relative obscurity, teaching at tiny Ratslop Conmunity College which was located in a beautiful little city called Ratstoria on the Northwest coast of Ratlantis in a province of the Great State of Ratifornia called Oratgone. As discovered, the Ratlantis Papyri consist of a history of Ratlantis and an extensive narrative centering upon the biography of one Ricky Rat, a famous figure in political and social circles when the Great Destruction occurred. The compassionate Professor Ratwrinkle, realizing that his beloved civilization was about to die, thoughtfully preserved the remnants of Ratlantis found in these illuminating ratuscripts. He did so with the fervent hope that some future society might discover them and thus avoid making the same horrific mistakes that devastated the entire planet 100,000 years ago last Thursday. Over the years since finding the Papyri, I have done my best to piece together an accurate portrayal of Ratlantian civilization. I spent hundreds of hours carefully editing the original ratuscripts, some of which were severely damaged by the ravages of time. In spite of these efforts, some academics and other reviewers have summarily dismissed the Ratlantis Papyri as a cruel hoax. It is indeed peculiar that the Papyri were written in what appears to closely resemble Standard American English. But isn't it equally strange that History repeats Herself over and over and over again. And to all who have ears to hear, I proclaim that my conscience is as clear as the pure mountain stream which first revealed the Papyri. I unequivocally assure the reader that what follows is no joke. And I, unlike the cynical and pampered intelligentsia of contemporary America, thoroughly trust the general public to be able to discern for themselves the truth--or lack thereof--of what is revealed herein.