PLEASE READ: "Pride and Prejudice: But Mr. Darcy is a Vape God" is Dick Cody Heese's gravest injustice before the literary world. In this near-exact retelling of Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel, Heese adds one poorly-integrated sentence to each chapter inferring that Mr. Darcy possesses insanely bodacious vaping skills. The well-loved tale of various dinner invitations and ill-conceived marriage proposals takes no benefit from Mr. Heese's contributions. Fans of the original will loathe this derivative work entirely, and the author profusely apologizes to Ms. Austen and her estate for this indiscretion. Rightly banished to the annals of self-publishing by every major book distributor, the disreputable Dick Cody Heese is quickly descending into new, subterranean depths of awful parody with his latest writing. Heese has also written several other barely passable parodies, including "The Great Gatsby: But Nick has Scoliosis," "Moby Kevin," and "Frankenstein: But the Monster is Allergic to Gluten."