I am the Edith fucking Piaf of the empty womb. Je ne regrettay fucking rien.

Jude has always known she doesn't want kids. Her sister Susie isn't sure if her ovaries are twingeing or if she just needs a wee.

One day, in a café full of 'yummy mummies', Jude loses the plot and kicks a pram. Then gets arrested. Then gets sent to anger management. Susie goes along for the ride and uses the opportunity to confess a secret.

This funny and touching play premiered at the Brighton Fringe Festival, before a critically acclaimed run at the Edinburgh International Festival Fringe, 2015. An unflinching look at what it means to be a modern woman, this programme text was published to coincide with a national tour in spring 2016.