Imagine waking up on an ordinary morning, the front end of a day of dead-end office work. At first, everything's routine--you shower, shave, pour a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, and turn on the radio. But today, the local shock jock has ditched his normal parade of WWF wrestlers and porn stars for one distraught caller. "Caller, tell us again. Why do you want to kill yourself today?" the host asks, prompting a litany of reasons: broken relationships, lost jobs, alcoholism. It sounds like a bad country song or an idiotic radio stunt until something freezes you in place, spoon halfway to your mouth, milk dripping into the cereal bowl and splattering the coffee table. You recognize the voice: the caller is your best friend. He's been lying to you for months about everything substantial in his life, and he's going to kill himself, and you don't know if you can stop it.