Writing this book meant more to me than just putting my thoughts on paper. Without it I could have never understand, much less found ways to cope with a part of me that I finally recognize. I, like so many combat veterans, was changed by war in ways that allowed me to survive. But, those changes that served me so well in the killing fields seperated me from much of what made life worth while before my combat exposure. I've spent much of my life searching for the things I set aside in the mountains where suffering and death could be a part of any day. This book is about my lifetime of adjustment.