Cornwall, 2013. Failed ex-pension salesman Godfrey Simmons is tired of being the sole member of the Godfrey Simmons Cult. So when he meets 19 year old failed Special Forces soldier Funkel Fingel and a beautiful but deadly girl called Cloud Berry, they start up Nowhere Children Inc., a corporate Cult based in Cornwall that uses pyramid selling techniques learned in Godfrey's pension scamming days. After a successful internet marketing campaign, it isn't long before all sorts of weirdos are rushing to jump on Godfrey's bandwagon. The Small Pixie Woman who harbours secret Nazi feminist ideals; Livid, the sexually deviant chimney sweep; Scarlett, who resents her 'animal urges'; Joshua, the homicidal Man of God from Jericho and Teddy the full time Free Spirit all sign up to 'Beat the stock markets, meet your perfect partner and change the world ' In the resultant mayhem, Godfrey and the Nowhere Children successfully manage to complete a 'Hostile Takeover bid' on a medieval Cornish castle while its owners are on holiday where they attempt to 'convert the ignorant'. Ultimate World Domination seems only a step away, but can they make it?