When Chris Bowlby's son Ewan was diagnosed with a brain tumour aged 17, you might have thought football would be the last thing on their minds. But in the following decade in which Ewan faced growing threats to his health, the love of football they shared seemed to grow in importance. It was a thread, defiantly holding some kind of normal life together, and a passion that prompted fascinating discussion about why a sport could matter so much. After Ewan's death from cancer in 2022 Chris wondered whether his lifelong love of football might fade. But gradually he found a way of including grief in a return to life. He understood as never before how much football had meant to him, how it had shaped the world he had lived through, and how it could now help him cope. Yet there was tension too. Was he now more aware of how the modern game might be leaving its humanity behind? This book explores that experience. It has football at its heart but is about much more than sport.