Two British teachers try to help a family of billionaire entrepreneurs build the ultimate school for the children of the newly-booming Indian middle class. Through wealth and poverty, class and caste, materialism, mysticism and murder, No Baboons in India ranges from farce to tragedy and back again. John and Val Taylor and their dogs Baldrick and Basil are the pivotal characters but India and the Indians are both the heroes and villains of the piece. The Director of Technical Services, a tall imposing Sikh, arrived in my office in well under sixty seconds. 'Respected Sir, what is your problem?' 'Sex, ' I replied tersely. 'Sex?' The Chief Nerd was visibly alarmed. 'Sex. I was attempting to look up a person called Napoleon Bonaparte on a historical web page. The search engine required me to fill in a box specifying the sex of the target subject. I immediately received an on screen message from your bloody Net Nanny programme threatening to report me to my boss for attempting to access a pornographic site.' 'Respected Sir, it will be rectified immediately.' Within five minutes my telephone rang and a cheerful voice greeted me from the Nerve Centre. 'Respected Sir, I have made the required adjustment. You can now access your pornographic site.'