A Handmaid's Tale meets Gladiator meets Monty Python in this female-rage-fueled fantasy satire. A hundred-and-fifty years ago, the women of Draconia were stripped of their magic. Since then, every girl who comes of age in the kingdom has been given a choice: have kids, or become a gladiator. Eleanor Skinner chose gladiator, and at 35, she's now the oldest undefeated gladiator in the history of Draconia. She's wealthy, she's notorious, and overall, she's pretty happy being a child-free lady-killer, thank you very much. Then a one-night stand leaves her knocked up. Eleanor would literally rather be decapitated in the arena than have to raise a child. Unfortunately, she has no say in the matter. So when she hears a rumor about a witch who lives outside the kingdom and still has her power Eleanor and her best friend Rosalind embark on a quest to find her and end the pregnancy with magic. But the journey takes an unexpected turn, bringing Eleanor face-to-face with old flames, new friends, and secrets about Draconia that would make any self-respecting feminist want to stand up, pick up a sword, and use it to slaughter the patriarchy.