As often as she could, my mother would take my brothers and me to church. That was the greatest gift she ever gave to us. However, betrayal from both my parents spun me into a vortex of not knowing whether or not God was real. Some days, I was full of faith; others, full of doubt. I was furious with God, so I built a wall that was too high and thick for even Him to break through. As I've recovered from my childhood trauma, and with God's help, I've defeated hopelessness and forgiven my tormentors. I now see that God has, from the beginning, been in my life.