BANNED IN THE UNITED STATES AND ENGLAND FOR NEARLY 200 YEARS: Scotland's celebrated national poet and bad-boy, Robert Burns, was born on January 25, 1759 and died in the summer of 1796 at the tender age of thirty-seven. In between those two dates, he did a lot of loving. He also wrote a lot of poetry and sang a lot of songs about it, some of which were never intended for public consumption. From Burns' secret collection, here are thirty-seven of his finest, in a highly readable, new, English translation, including favorites like "The Fornicator" "Our Goodwife's So Modest" and "No Hair On It." But be prepared, because these aren't just naughty ditties, they're downright lewd