In the crushing complacency of suburbia, midlife crises pop in unannounced on men s lives. For one Long Island podiatrist (our narrator), it takes an impromptu act of vandalism just to make him aware of his own being. Walking home in the subzero wind chill of a Friday night, he stumbles on a bottle of horseradish and mindlessly hurls it through the window of a popular store selling clothes to oversexed tweens. This one tiny, out-of-character impulse turns his life upside-down, triggering waves of terrifying fear, crooked cops, and charges of anti-Semitism. Friends and neighbors push his intrigue-filled existence into wildly unpredictable places, especially nineteen-year-old Audra Uziel, a long-time patient who s brilliant, rebellious, and sexy, with a taste for happily married men. Audra also happens to be the daughter of Nat Uziel, self-proclaimed community patriarch, whose store window the infamous horseradish bottle demolished. Pushed to the edge by his own desires, despairs, and disappointments, our narrator is about to find out what it s like to become a criminal, and what his crucifyingly dull neighborhood looks like in the midst of continuing controversy."