My husband said; "You women complain about EVERYTHING!" I said; "Is that what you men are calling yourselves now? EVERYTHING?" I figured it out! The chicken crossed the road to get away from the stupid rooster! I once asked a friend what her kittens name was and she replied; "Free to good home!" Time for bed! I plan on dreaming of paying all my bills with good checks! One time my mother made me so furious! So...I sent my teenagers to stay with her for awhile! My husband and I were watching Pretty Woman together one night. During one scene Vivian was wearing nothing but a necktie! My husband piped up and asked me; "Why don't you wear just a necktie for me?" I said to him; "When you give me $3000 for sleeping with you I will buy a necktie!" A co-worker once asked me what my favorite holiday was. I replied; "The first day of school!" My kids begged me for a pot belly pig. I said; "NO! I already had one and divorced it!" Growing up I read anything funny I could get my hands on. I would follow my family members around reading jokes and funny stories. My dad still tells me "I only crack myself up!" I live to find the funny moments in life and make others laugh out loud. I grew up in the small town of Apple Creek, Ohio. My parents moved around quit often. I was an only child so with all the moving I learned to make friends quit easily. I currently reside in a small town outside of Columbus, Ohio with my husband Tim and our four children. There is never a dull moment in our house. My friends and relatives often come to visit so they can witness just how crazy we really are!