This is my zombie novel. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My zombie novel is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My zombie novel, without me, is useless. Without my zombie novel, I am useless. I must deliver my zombie novel true. I must write better than my critics who are trying to kill me. I must kill them and eat their brains before they kill me and eat my brains. I will ... My zombie novel and I know that what counts in literature is not the sentences we create, the noise of our paragraphs, nor the amount of books we sell. We know that it is the readers who count. We will be read ... My zombie novel is human, even as I, because it is my life on the page. Thus I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, it chapters, its characters and its plot. I will keep my zombie novel clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will ... Before God, I swear this creed. My zombie novel and I are the defenders of free speech. We are the masters of our critics. We are the saviors of my life. So be it, until victory is ours and there are no critics, but readers