I have been playing hide and seek all my life. The dead have always been very near. Going into a cemetery and resting my head on the past is no longer necessary: for I, now, am the past. I tried to make myself unavailable until the important people in my life died. Then my seeking began. I was old when I was young, now I am young as I die. All my life I have been either hiding from, or seeking out, those who have meant the most to me. Now I want answers. I want all the answers. So I can do this; so I can die.