"My take on life is this: stand up for yourself, be courageous and loyal to those you love, and never pass up a chance to consume good human food. I want the world to know that I AM DACHSHUND-the guardian, the sentinel, the keeper of everything my family holds dear " My all-out favorite human by far is my Papa Duke, and wow, can he tell some stories The "Alligator Story" and the "Haystack Story" from his Army days are new tales I heard him tell our family. How he's managed to live through such exciting experiences is amazing-in fact, I think somebody ought to make a movie about him I got to visit Sellars and Renata on their farm in Georgia with Grandma and Papa. Boy, did I have a couple of close calls. For example, my meet-up with mama pig Tenderloin made me scoot out of her pen FAST Along with that, their farm dog Bubba took his job way too seriously, wasting a lot of time herding their four dinky cows around the field instead of playing with me. How rude I've also learned more about cats (like, who would want to know more about them, right?) when I stayed with Uncle Kurt, Aunt Bethany, and their conniving Tate and Joey for a week. That turned out to be my feline boot camp, so I'm "letting the cat out of the bag" (no pun intended) by revealing how cats REALLY act when humans aren't around Another heartwarming tale of family, joy, good food, and unconditional love, Sarge's story will bring warmth and smiles to readers of all ages.