How to Connect

How do you talk to a difficult colleague, give feedback without upsetting someone or get your teenager to talk honestly to you?

You can ask AI what to say to an unhappy client, a demanding coworker or frustrated teen. It will give you the words, but it can't tell you how the other person will hear them. What matters to that person, and how do they make decisions? Understanding this is a human skill no AI assistant can replicate. How to Connect shows you how to recognise the different filters - the unspoken preferences and patterns - that shape how someone sees a situation and responds to it. You'll learn how to adapt what you say and how you say it, in the moment, to build trust and create stronger relationships.

Best-selling author Michelle Bowden has spent 30 years teaching people how to build meaningful connections and wield greater influence. In her warm, conversational style, Michelle reveals how to spot the filters that guide how each of us thinks, decides and communicates. Each chapter shows you how to identify and adapt to a specific filter for better communication, handing you short quizzes, prompts, cheat sheets and real workplace and family examples.

You'll learn how to:

• know instantly whether someone wants the headline or the detail, before you lose them mid-sentence
• understand why your manager never seems to notice your effort, even when you're doing everything right
• work out if someone trusts their head or their heart when it comes to making decisions
• correctly read oversharing, silence or shutting down and know exactly how to respond
• negotiate with someone who won't budge and convince others to see your point of view.

Whether it's a colleague who dismisses your ideas, a client who won't commit or a partner you keep having the same argument with, How to Connect helps you work out what filters are driving their response. When you understand how someone sees the situation and what really matters to them, it becomes much easier to connect, communicate and actually get along.