This is my PhD thesis about the importance of emotion in schools and the imperative for adults and young people to form 'real' relationships based on unconditional positive regard. It highlights which teacher behaviours help and hinder relationships with pupils and how the construction of masculinity explains why boys and excluded more often than girls. It also argues that for effective teaching and learning to take place, teachers and pupils need to be self-aware and emotionally literate. Teacher and pupils benefit from listening, knowing themselves, expressing themselves, being grounded and accepting. Meditation, Transactional Analysis and Circle Time are tools which allow staff and pupils to de-stress and form positive learning relationships. The models and concepts within are also relevant to parents and other adults working with children and young people.