Everyone faces pain. Everyone faces loss. Some of us just handle it better than others. Some find comfort in faith and family where others learn to hate God, hate themselves, and hate their situations. We are left with questions: does prayer work? Is anyone listening? Is this life all that we have? In 2004, my entire world collapsed when my father lost his battle to cancer. Depression, anger, and confusion overcame me. In an attempt to lose the pain I lost myself-I lost my relationship with God. Finding God is the account of my journey through loss, depression, and addiction and my search for God's existence.